Can It Be Done?

Does having a large family mean the only white glove test you have is trying to keep the pair together?

While there are certainly challenges, your standard of cleanliness is your litmus for your standard of happiness. The person who said that cleanliness is next to godliness did NOT have five little ones running around their feet all the time. Perhaps cleanliness of mind, or heart, but the condition of our mode or abode lies closer to our sanity than to our righteousness. I will agree that the cleaner my house the more "in control" I feel. Is this a test of virtue or a test of my own habits? That is my biggest question of late. I've come to realize an important life-lesson, and I will now share it with your for free. Pay attention.

Time, attention, even circumstances are not the reason for chaos in my home or in my life. Only habits are to blame or praise.

Yikes. I heard some of you blowing razzberries at me. Wait, before you click off, let me explain. As a busy mom, you must know that a busy person gets more done than one who is not. True? Of course, true. I find time to do anything I please. If I want to let my kid join soccer, I find time. If I HAVE to clean out my fridge, I do it. When I fail to "keep up", it is either that my standards are too high to meet or that my habits are not up to snuff. In my case, I've experienced both.

For example, when I had my twins, I remember physically telling my mind to slow down. I would remind myself that it will now take me longer to get anywhere or do anything. I reset my mind, if you will. My standard of rushing out the door at the last minute, cramming the last of the laundry in and still make it on time anywhere was too high. I adjusted. It works. Okay, now for the other.

I have some poor habits. I have a habit of letting the babies wake me up in the morning instead of getting up a half hour earlier to prepare for my day. My day goes better when I have that extra half hour. I get more than twice as much done. I feel great about getting stuff done, so I'm not "drained" all day. I then get to take a nap during the day because I have been so efficient. When I let the babies wake me up, I feel behind all day. I\'m slow and a little lazy with my day as well. I feel "forced" to face my day. I never get to nap on those days because I'm playing catch-up. Now we're talking about an extra half-hour. It hardly makes a difference in terms of actual time, yet it makes a big difference in terms of how my day goes. So getting my house cleaned, for instance, is then not a matter of time in this case. It\'s a matter of habit.

I have learned that it is my job to train my children to have habits that HELP them achieve the desired results for their lives. I am helping them create a habit of making their beds when they wake. Of putting their dishes in the dishwasher after a meal. Of picking up what they last played with before getting something else out.

My parents made me do chores and made me clean in marathon cleaning sessions on Saturdays or when someone was coming over, so I'm not unaccustomed to cleaning. However, I don't have good cleaning habits. I'm messy. Why? I don't want to be messy. I know how to clean. I'm home, so I can. I was never taught HABITS, or rather I was allowed to adopt poor habits.

So can we keep a clean house with a large family? Sure. But it takes building those habits with each of your children. And that DOES take time. And patience. And a little dip in standards for a season. And disclipline to build habits within yourself.

For more articles on parenting from the perspective of a large family, visit largefamilyresource.com